Unraveling Catholic Purity Culture Part 2: Mandatory, Yet Impossible
When sexuality comes with a warning label
The Catechism defines purity of heart as threefold: “‘Pure in heart’ refers to those who have attuned their intellects and wills to the demands of God's holiness, chiefly in three areas: charity; chastity or sexual rectitude; love of truth and orthodoxy of faith” (CCC #2518). Though it doesn’t shy away from the connection between purity of mind, body, and faith, the Catechism’s definition certainly does not read: “Purity is following a line-by-line prescription for sexual thought and behavior, so as to please God and be rewarded with a good marriage.” But the latter feels a lot more accurate to the definition of purity I was given.
In my last piece on the topic of purity culture, I began with analyzing authority–thinking about who we got our messages from, and why we were quick to adopt them–in other words, who, exactly, gave us the false definitions of purity? In this second part, I’ll be quoting some of those people who were or are considered authoritative by Catholics when it comes to the topics of purity and chastity, and how the definition became what it was. Before I begin, though, some disclaimers:
Two things can be true at once: someone can be in error and cause harm with their words and still be a virtuous person worth listening to. If you disagree with this, then perhaps you’ve never said anything wrong or caused anyone harm through your words, or just plain changed your mind–congratulations, please let me know your secrets.
There can be both accuracies and inaccuracies in someone’s work, and they can also intend to deliver a certain message while actually delivering another. It’s important to remember someone’s intentions (whether explicit, or through our own supposing of their goodwill) when analyzing their work.
We are all in process, and people can grow and change how they approach something. If you disagree, see the latter part of point 1.
Charitable disagreement doth not cancel culture make. I disagree with a lot of people, and a lot of people disagree with me–we can hold love, respect, and disagreement at the same time; and actually, we really should. It’s how a lot of pretty crucial things find their surest clarity.
Critiquing purity culture does not mean throwing out Catholic teaching on sexuality. More to come on this later.
Pressing onward: in this limited definition of purity–that was both implicitly and explicitly given, at times–myself and countless others felt the tension summarized by one woman I spoke with as part of my research: “Purity culture’s standards felt mandatory, yet totally impossible to ever achieve.”
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