How to Stop OnlyFans: A Response to Matt Walsh

You cannot fight shame with shame.

A week ago, Matt Walsh wrote a piece for the Daily Wire called “This is How We Stop the Festering Disease Called OnlyFans.” I’m not usually one for response/rebuttal pieces, but this one lit a bit of a fire under me, so here goes nothing. As a note, my response has nothing to do with my overall opinion–whether positive, negative, or somewhere between–of the DW and Walsh himself, whom I don’t know. I’m simply responding to this article, since this issue is a bit in my wheelhouse.

First, I agree that OnlyFans is indeed a “festering disease.” It’s been a heartbreaking addition to the foray of pornography streaming platforms, making it far too easy for both men and women to engage with the industry. My break with Walsh is when we treat the people on the platform like they are the disease, which essentially is the point of his article. The antidote to pornography and prostitution becoming mainstream, according to the article, is to use shame: “Most of all, we have removed shame from society. At least we have removed it from the things that are actually shameful. History shows that we can put an end to pretty much any type of conduct, or drive it into the shadows and out of public view so that very few people engage in it, simply by using shame. We stopped shaming whorish behavior, and now we have soccer moms turning to prostitution for some extra spending money. One follows from the other.” While Walsh may posit that he’s advocating for the shaming of behavior, not people, the tone of this piece suggests otherwise. His lack of sympathy is something he owns: “You often hear people, especially conservatives, say that they feel sorry for women like this. I have to admit I don’t. I reserve all of my sympathy for whoever owns the AirBnB they used for this stunt. You’ll have to go in there with hazmat suits to fumigate that room.”

Referring to women on OnlyFans or involved in the pornography industry as “women like this” (or “hookers” at a different part of the article) does nothing to encourage them in a different way of life, whatever their story or background. If shame is our approach, we are only confirming for them how they already feel about themselves. My heart has been deeply saddened by the news surrounding OnlyFans creators like Lily Philips, who boasted of sleeping with 100 men before breaking down in tears. Her vacillating cries of both victory and crushing heartbreak is indicative of a much deeper trauma that none of us will ever know, only compounded by her extreme behavior. Her brokenness should move us to mercy, pity and prayer, not judgment and satirical jabs.

One of the first OnlyFans models I spoke with was 20 years old at the time of our conversation. She was experiencing crippling depression and other intense effects from her work, but had no idea how to leave it behind (partly because of the income she was generating). She had just revealed her face on her account, which in turn led to even more revenue–but also embedded her very identity into the work. I could feel palpably on that video call how trapped she felt. She was beautiful, incredibly beautiful. Her eyes were a piercing blue. She was a person. When I asked her what held her back from leaving OnlyFans, she said, “I just don’t know if I could ever be good at anything else. I don’t know what else I can do now.” Her destiny felt sealed–it felt like it was “too late.” This is the problem with Walsh’s suggested approach–we only confirm this feeling of being trapped when we shame those engaging in the pornography and sex work industries into the hidden alleyways of society. However much I hate mainstream pornography and how widely accepted it is in culture, that hatred actually only fuels my desire to fight for women to recognize their dignity more.

Someone like Lily Philips, or like the young woman referenced above, does not arrive at producing OnlyFans content randomly. There’s another video floating around of an OnlyFans model propositioning a young man working as a cashier at a Five Guys, where he turns her down. Good for him, truly. I’m grateful to see him communicate his morality so unflinchingly, and it’s unjust and violating that he was put in that position. But conversely, I look at the woman propositioning and can’t help but feel pretty certain: she is behaving so ruthlessly to protect herself from something. Trauma, shame, powerlessness–the possibilities are endless. But it’s not a series of accidental circumstances that lead people to choose to act against their dignity in such blatant ways–it’s pain, and the source of that pain is often not their fault, even if their behavior now is.

The only way to help people rise above undignified behavior is to teach them that they are dignified. You cannot fight shame with shame. And we most certainly cannot reach into this space, this industry, without acknowledging the ways we have propped it up by our use. Anyone, and I mean anyone, who has at any time consumed pornography–of any kind, at any amount or frequency–has aided in its industrial growth. Yes, that should make us beat our chests with a repentant fist and say mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. We all have our places of shame, our behaviors we’re not proud of.

I agree that we must never treat pornography production or prostitution–or any way sex is sold–as dignified work. It’s not, and that’s the problem with it–it’s a crime against humanity, both the humans buying and selling. They are worth more, so much more. Our work is not to shame OnlyFans creators, but to dignify them so that they no longer engage in such heartbreaking and harmful behavior. This isn’t just necessary, it’s also the Gospel. Jesus did not turn His face from the tax collector, the prostitute. He dined with them, broke bread with them, allowed Himself to be touched by them and seen in their company. More than anything, He saw their pain; their deep wounding by their own sin and the sins of others, and He took it on. We should take a page.