My parents and aunts and uncles all grew old with grace. To those tough old Irish people, wishing to remain young would have seemed sinful and self-indulgent I’m sure. There’s a reason wanting to remain young is always a villainous characteristic in stories.
This is a beautiful essay and one that I very much needed to read, being almost three months postpartum myself.
I don't use Pinterest, but I'm still on other social media with the same, or worse content. Having struggled with eating disorders in the past, but thankfully in a much better place than my teen and early adult self, the get-your-body-back content is really triggering. Even seemingly innocuous accounts can lead me down a rabbit hole of comparison and anxiety.
Congratulations! I hope you have people telling you how strong and beautiful you are, it's amazing that you've done the mental work to be in a better place.
Yet getting thin again isn't impossible, doesn't require starvation, and it isn't an evil thing to desire. For me it happens about a year after breastfeeding and limiting non-nutrient-dense foods. I understand that it is much harder for some women than others. Yet making hope of improvement sound like an evil temptation while meanwhile making a whole lot of self-limiting, despairing statements does not sound like enlightenment.
I don't think I'm saying hope for improvement is an evil temptation, rather examining what we see as improvement. As I said, fitness and nutrition goals are good, but trying to go back to the way we were feels contradictory to thriving as our bodies can now. I am physically stronger and fitter than I have ever been and eat healthier than I ever have, but I don't look the same, and I think it's important to be at peace with that.
I'm not entirely sure if you're serious, but in the hope that you are....
Excuse? No. Reasons? Yes. The sentiments within this post are echoed in my heart 1000 times when I see my husband of 20 years come through the door. His "dad bod" has stood between me and need for all of that time - working when others are sleeping, handling all of the coldest and dreariest and heaviest tasks, tiptoeing from the house in the wee hours of the morning so as not to disturb the children and I when he leaves for work. His time at home has been spent dealing with everything that was too heavy for me. He has been cut and bruised and injured as he built what we needed. He has worked jobs where he was allergic to the chemicals, sweating in the heat and aching in the cold while we were home in front of fans and fires. Never did he quit a job unless he knew that we would be safely provided for when he did so. When he was not laboring on our behalf, he was holding babies and wrestling with boys, reading them stories or snuggling the children on the couch. When I look at him, what I see is love lived out in every moment, and there is no part of me that would wish he had spent his time and energy differently in an attempt to curate a different body.
My parents and aunts and uncles all grew old with grace. To those tough old Irish people, wishing to remain young would have seemed sinful and self-indulgent I’m sure. There’s a reason wanting to remain young is always a villainous characteristic in stories.
This is a beautiful essay and one that I very much needed to read, being almost three months postpartum myself.
I don't use Pinterest, but I'm still on other social media with the same, or worse content. Having struggled with eating disorders in the past, but thankfully in a much better place than my teen and early adult self, the get-your-body-back content is really triggering. Even seemingly innocuous accounts can lead me down a rabbit hole of comparison and anxiety.
Congratulations! I hope you have people telling you how strong and beautiful you are, it's amazing that you've done the mental work to be in a better place.
Thank you!!
Yet getting thin again isn't impossible, doesn't require starvation, and it isn't an evil thing to desire. For me it happens about a year after breastfeeding and limiting non-nutrient-dense foods. I understand that it is much harder for some women than others. Yet making hope of improvement sound like an evil temptation while meanwhile making a whole lot of self-limiting, despairing statements does not sound like enlightenment.
I don't think I'm saying hope for improvement is an evil temptation, rather examining what we see as improvement. As I said, fitness and nutrition goals are good, but trying to go back to the way we were feels contradictory to thriving as our bodies can now. I am physically stronger and fitter than I have ever been and eat healthier than I ever have, but I don't look the same, and I think it's important to be at peace with that.
Do men have an excuse? Will women accept the dad bod?
I'm not entirely sure if you're serious, but in the hope that you are....
Excuse? No. Reasons? Yes. The sentiments within this post are echoed in my heart 1000 times when I see my husband of 20 years come through the door. His "dad bod" has stood between me and need for all of that time - working when others are sleeping, handling all of the coldest and dreariest and heaviest tasks, tiptoeing from the house in the wee hours of the morning so as not to disturb the children and I when he leaves for work. His time at home has been spent dealing with everything that was too heavy for me. He has been cut and bruised and injured as he built what we needed. He has worked jobs where he was allergic to the chemicals, sweating in the heat and aching in the cold while we were home in front of fans and fires. Never did he quit a job unless he knew that we would be safely provided for when he did so. When he was not laboring on our behalf, he was holding babies and wrestling with boys, reading them stories or snuggling the children on the couch. When I look at him, what I see is love lived out in every moment, and there is no part of me that would wish he had spent his time and energy differently in an attempt to curate a different body.
This ^^^
There have been studies on this! Generally, women love the dad bod. It signals emotional/financial stability.